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turning to page one
turning to page one
Kaufman sits on the bench, looking out at the ocean. An attractive, spandexed couple skate by, chatting in German. He watches the woman, hoping for a look, for something. He doesn't get it. They're gone. A tan older man sits on the bench, lights a cigarette. Kaufman continues to look at the ocean, even though he feels the guy's eyes on him. He doesn't want to engage.
GUY ON BENCH
We could use the rain, huh?
Kaufman nods, looking at the ocean. Pause.
GUY ON BENCH (cont'd)
So you from around here?
Kaufman shakes his head "no." Pause.
GUY ON BENCH (cont'd)
So where then?
KAUFMAN
California.
GUY ON BENCH
(excitedly)
Yeah? I'm moving to L.A. I just wrote a
screenplay. I sent it to a lot of
agents. But if they turn me down, I'll
go there and market it myself. I used to
be in marketing in New York, so I know
exactly how to sell this thing.
(beat)
Where's a nice place to live if you don't
have a car?
KAUFMAN
You kind of need a car. I guess West
Hollywood would be okay.
GUY ON BENCH
So you recommend West Hollywood then.
KAUFMAN
I'm not recommending it.
Pause.
GUY ON BENCH
I moved down here for a change, and I
wrote the screenplay. Just like that.
It's a great idea.
The old guy waits for a response. He gets none.
GUY ON BENCH (cont'd)
It's about a mob guy, but it's not your
regular mob story. There's a twist. A
cop tells this mob guy's wife that the
is, the cop's lying because he wants her
for himself. See, they used to go
together in high school.
(waits for response, then:)
You know anything about screenplays?
Kaufman shakes his head.
CONTINUED: (2)
GUY ON BENCH (cont'd)
Well, the object is to make people think
you're going in one direction, then you
twist it to keep 'em surprised. I came up
with all these amazing twists out of
nowhere. Well, not nowhere.
(beat)
I'm a born again Christian.
(beat)
You have faith?
KAUFMAN
No. Not really.
GUY ON BENCH
You don't believe in anything?
Kaufman shrugs.
GUY ON BENCH (cont'd)
I don't know how you can look out at this
beautiful ocean and not believe there's
an intelligence that created it.
KAUFMAN
I don't know.
GUY ON BENCH
Well, you can't know until you experience
it. That requires accepting Jesus Christ
as your Lord and Savior. Believe me.
Lookit, if I was to show you a bottle of
clear liquid and told you it was vodka,
how would you know if it really was or if
it was water? There's only one way.
KAUFMAN
I'd smell it.
GUY ON BENCH
(annoyed)
No. You can't smell vodka. You'd have
to taste it, right?
KAUFMAN
It could be poison. I don't know you.
GUY ON BENCH
(angry)
Look, let's go with the analogy I'm
drawing here. It's not poison. Okay?
(resuming control)
CONTINUED: (3)
GUY ON BENCH (cont'd)
So you'd have to taste it to know.
Right? That's my point.
KAUFMAN
Right.
GUY ON BENCH
That's all I'm saying.
(beat)
So West Hollywood, huh? I think I'll
make it out this year. Because how long
can you look at an ocean, y'know?
MONTAGE
Susan Orlean talks to various orchid enthusiasts, visits nurseries, sits in lecture halls, attends orchid shows, sits in the library reading orchid books. She is bored and distracted.