Adaptation · written by Charlie Kaufman and Donald Kaufman · 2002

Charlie tears down McKee’s commandments, while Donald asks about the Swamp Ape and pitches a song.

Scene 126 of 202 · ≈ 1 min on screen · Act two

Donald
Kaufman

Act oneAct twoAct three

Begins 1:05 into a 1:57 film

The story so farBefore scene 126

Unable to find a conventional story in The Orchid Thief, screenwriter Charlie Kaufman turns his own crisis into an increasingly self-referential adaptation.

Scenes 1–9
Charlie inhabits an isolated, self-condemning world while Orlean’s book supplies a distant model of obsession.
Scenes 10–88
Charlie wants to write honestly and make flowers matter, while also longing to be desired and understood.
Scenes 89–105
He leaves his familiar writing room and goes to Florida to search for the story firsthand.
Just before
Scene 123
Charlie opens an airline vodka bottle and smells it after Orlean’s voice challenges him to seek experience.
Scene 124
Charlie tells a limousine driver his film is about flowers and accepts the driver’s action-genre version.
Scene 125
Donald describes his image system as Charlie returns from Florida.
Scene 126
This scene

126INT. EMPTY BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

Kaufman tears down MCKEE'S TEN COMMANDMENTS. Donald appears backlit in the doorway and seems oddly threatening.

DONALD

You shouldn't have done that.

They look at each other. Donald breaks the tension, smiles.

DONALD (cont'd)

'Cause it's extremely helpful.

(lies down on floor)

Hey, any sign of that Swamp Ape?

KAUFMAN

There is no Swamp Ape. It was invented

for people who can't find the actual

world fascinating. Y'know?

DONALD

Oh, okay. I didn't know that. Sorry.

Hey, I got a song! "Happy Together." I

was worried about putting a song in a

thriller, but Bob says, Casablanca, the

greatest screenplay ever written, did

exactly that. Mixed genres.

KAUFMAN

I need to go to bed, Donald. I haven't

slept in a week.

DONALD

Okay.

Donald remains on the floor.

MONTAGE SEQUENCE

Mishmash of images: alligators snapping, Laroche jabbering, Orlean typing, 19th century orchid poachers slogging, orchids blooming, Mike Owen lecturing.

KAUFMAN (V.O.)

... so we open the swamp... okay,

flashback to young Laroche had turtles...

Okay, Susan says What Is Passion? And

okay we open on a swamp and suddenly a

white van comes tearing around...