Adaptation · written by Charlie Kaufman and Donald Kaufman · 2002

McKee lectures that story, not words, is the heart of screenwriting while Charlie hears only his own failures.

Scene 171 of 202 · ≈ 1 min on screen · Act two

Mckee
Kaufman

Act oneAct twoAct three

Begins 1:26 into a 1:57 film

The story so farBefore scene 171

Unable to find a conventional story in The Orchid Thief, screenwriter Charlie Kaufman turns his own crisis into an increasingly self-referential adaptation.

Scenes 1–9
Charlie inhabits an isolated, self-condemning world while Orlean’s book supplies a distant model of obsession.
Scenes 10–88
Charlie wants to write honestly and make flowers matter, while also longing to be desired and understood.
Scenes 89–105
He leaves his familiar writing room and goes to Florida to search for the story firsthand.
Scenes 106–126
The swamp is ordinary, Orlean’s research fails, and Charlie experiments with increasingly personal versions of the book.
Scenes 127–144
Charlie finds a way to focus the material by putting himself in it, then commits to meeting Orlean.
Just before
Scene 168
Laroche pushes into the swamp despite the day’s hardship, and Orlean follows.
Scene 169
Charlie spots the school where McKee’s seminar is being held.
Scene 170
Charlie joins the seminar registration line after an attractive clerk ignores him.
Scene 171
This scene

171INT. AUDITORIUM - A BIT LATER

Kaufman sits in the packed room. McKee paces the stage with a mic clipped to his lapel.

MCKEE

Years from now you'll be standing around

a posh cocktail party congratulating

yourself on how you spent an entire

weekend locked in a room with an asshole,

an opinionated arrogant asshole, for your

art.

The audience laughs, except for Kaufman who looks pained.

KAUFMAN (V.O.)

I am pathetic. I am a loser. I am fat.

MCKEE

So... what is the substance of writing?

Nothing as trivial as words is at the

heart of this great art, my friends.

McKee continues to talk but his voice goes under.

KAUFMAN (V.O.)

I have failed. I am panicked. I am fat.

I have sold out. I am worthless. I...

MCKEE

Literary talent is not enough. First,

last, and always, the imperative is to

tell a story.

Kaufman watches with disdain as people take notes.

MCKEE

Twenty three hundred years ago, Aristotle

said, when storytelling goes bad in a

society, the result is decadence.

(deadpan)

Well, just look around you.

Everyone, except Kaufman, laughs giddily at McKee's joke.

MCKEE (cont'd)

Aristotle also said: A story must have a

beginning, a middle, and an end.

The students nod in appreciation at this profundity.