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31INT. EMPTY DINING ROOM - DAY

Kaufman sits at a card table, picking at a salad and reading an orchid book. Donald lies on the floor, chomping a hoagie and reading a copy of Story by Robert McKee.

KAUFMAN (V.O.)

The Orchidaceae is a large, ancient

family of perennial plants with...

Kaufman, bored, looks over at Donald, whose cheeks are stuffed with food.

DONALD (V.O.)

The most memorable, fascinating

characters tend to have not only a

conscious but an unconscious desire.

Although these characters are unaware of

their subconscious need...

KAUFMAN

Maybe you should watch what you eat,

Donald. Did you ever consider maybe

you're a bit fat? Does it ever occur to

you, you kind of represent me in the

world? That people look at you and

think, he's Charlie's twin, therefore

that's what Charlie must look like?

DONALD

By the way, mom's paying for the seminar.

KAUFMAN

Did you even hear what I said?

DONALD

Yeah. Anyway. I pitched mom my

screenplay --

KAUFMAN

Jesus, don't say "pitch."

DONALD

Sorry. Anyway, she loved my... telling

of my story to her. She said it's like

"Silence of the Lambs" meets "Psycho."

KAUFMAN

Hey, maybe you and mom could collaborate.

I hear she's really good with structure.

DONALD

You think you're so superior, Charles.

Well, I'm really gonna write this. And

you'll see. And, and... you suck, okay?

The two glare at each other. They go back to their books.

KAUFMAN (V.O.)

Florida is a landscape of transition...