Adaptation · written by Charlie Kaufman and Donald Kaufman · 2002

Charlie types orchid imagery while Donald proposes adding the Swamp Ape and asks to borrow a murder idea.

Scene 47 of 202 · ≈ 1 min on screen · Act one

Kaufman
Donald

Act oneAct twoAct three

Begins 27 min into a 1:57 film

The story so farBefore scene 47

Unable to find a conventional story in The Orchid Thief, screenwriter Charlie Kaufman turns his own crisis into an increasingly self-referential adaptation.

Scenes 1–9
Charlie inhabits an isolated, self-condemning world while Orlean’s book supplies a distant model of obsession.
Scene 10
Valerie and Margaret give Charlie the assignment to adapt The Orchid Thief.
Scene 31
Donald’s rivalry and affection give Charlie a living counterpoint to his isolated view of himself.
Just before
Scene 44
Laroche explains his plan to clone ghost orchids, enrich the Seminoles, and stop future poaching.
Scene 45
Orlean’s account of old orchid hunters becomes a staged display of mannequins and cardboard swamp.
Scene 46
Charlie drives past women working in shops and leaves without approaching Alice.
Scene 47
This scene

47INT. EMPTY BEDROOM - MORNING

Kaufman sits on the floor and types.

KAUFMAN (V.O.)

A beautiful orange orchid blooms in time-

lapse --

Donald enters. Kaufman ignores him, continues typing. Donald dawdles, picks up The Orchid Thief, flips through it.

KAUFMAN (V.O.) (cont'd)

The camera circles it, revealing how

lovely and perfect and sweet and inviting

and delicate and...

DONALD

Cool.

KAUFMAN

What do you want, Donald?

DONALD

Nothing. I just read about that Swamp

Ape that supposedly lives in the swamp?

Like bigfoot? You should put that in

your script, like, killing people or

something. That'd be very, very cool.

KAUFMAN

Why are you in here now?

DONALD

Nothing, I was just... Oh, one thing, I

need a cool way to kill people. Don't

worry! For my script! Ha ha!

Kaufman stares at Donald, rubs his eyes, then:

KAUFMAN

Um, okay, killer's a literature professor

who cuts off little chunks of his

victims' bodies until they die. He'd be

known in the tabloids as "The

Deconstructionist."

DONALD

That's kinda good. I like that.

KAUFMAN

See, I was kidding, Donald.

DONALD

Oh, okay. Sorry. You got me! Heh-heh.

Do you mind if I use it, though?