Adaptation · written by Charlie Kaufman and Donald Kaufman · 2002

Charlie types a grand circular opening, then Donald brings back McKee’s ideas and Charlie confesses their shared loneliness.

Scene 64 of 202 · ≈ 1 min on screen · Act one

Kaufman
Donald

Act oneAct twoAct three

Begins 38 min into a 1:57 film

The story so farBefore scene 64

Unable to find a conventional story in The Orchid Thief, screenwriter Charlie Kaufman turns his own crisis into an increasingly self-referential adaptation.

Scenes 1–9
Charlie inhabits an isolated, self-condemning world while Orlean’s book supplies a distant model of obsession.
Scene 10
Valerie and Margaret give Charlie the assignment to adapt The Orchid Thief.
Scene 31
Donald’s rivalry and affection give Charlie a living counterpoint to his isolated view of himself.
Just before
Scene 61
Laroche teaches Orlean about pollination and orchid forms, but she remains detached from the spectacle.
Scene 62
Orlean admits that she wants to feel the passion other people feel for their interests.
Scene 63
A girl swings alone as her parents stare away from each other through separate windows.
Scene 64
This scene

64INT. LARGE EMPTY LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Kaufman types furiously. He's a sweaty mess.

KAUFMAN (V.O.)

... then, after the entire history of

life on the planet, in the last seconds

of the montage, we see the whole of human

history: tool-making, hunting, farming,

war, lust, religion, self-consciousness.

Yearning. Then, bam! cut to Susan Orlean

writing a book about orchids. And the

story begins. It's perfect! It's

circular! It's everything!

He reads back what he's written.

KAUFMAN (CONT'D)

I'm an idiot. I'm fat. I hate my--

The front door bursts open and Donald charges in.

DONALD

McKee is a genius! And hilarious! He

just comes up with these great jokes, and

everyone laughs! But he's serious, too.

You'd love him. He's all for

originality, just like you! But he says,

we have to realize we all write in a

genre, so we must find originality within

that genre. See, it turns out there

hasn't been a new genre since Fellini

invented the mockumentary!

KAUFMAN

(sadly, quietly)

You and I share the same DNA. Is there

anything more lonely than that?