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66INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

Ricky stands at the window, videotaping.

RICKY

Welcome to America's Weirdest Home

Videos.

Suddenly we HEAR someone trying to open a locked door.

COLONEL (O.C.)

Ricky!

Moving swiftly, Ricky pulls the drapes shut and switches on a light. His room is a haven of high-tech. A state-of-the-art multimedia COMPUTER crowds his desk, and high-end STEREO and VIDEO EQUIPMENT line the shelves, as well as HUNDREDS OF CDs. There is easily twenty thousand dollars worth of equipment in this room.

RICKY

Coming, Dad.

COLONEL (O.C.)

You know I don't like locked doors

in my house, boy.

Ricky opens the door. The Colonel stands outside, eyeing him.

RICKY

I'm sorry, I must have locked it by

accident. So what's up?

The Colonel holds out a small PLASTIC CUP WITH A CAP.

COLONEL

I need a urine sample.

RICKY

Wow. It's been six months already.

Can I give it to you in the

morning? I just took a whiz.

COLONEL

Yeah, I suppose.

(an awkward beat)

Well. Good night, son.

He disappears down the hall. Ricky smiles, shuts and locks his door. He puts the plastic cup on the shelf, then crosses to a MINI REFRIGERATOR in the corner of his room and takes out a cup-sized TUPPERWARE CONTAINER from the freezer, already filled with urine, albeit frozen, and places it on a saucer to thaw overnight.