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Skylar and Will sit together along with Will's gang. The boys are considerably drunk, but it makes for good entertainment. Everyone here is having fun including Sylar.
MORGAN
Will, I can't believe you brought Skylar
here when we're all wrecked. What's
she gonna think about us?
WILL
Yeah, Morgan. It's a real rarity that
we'd be out drinkin'.
BILLY
I've been shit faced for like two weeks.
MORGAN
Oh great, tell her that! Now she really
thinks we're problem drinkers!
CHUCKIE
Two weeks? That's nothin'. My Uncle
Marty? Will knows him. That guy
fuckin' drinks like you've never seen!
One night he was drivin' back to his
house on I-93-- Statie pulls him over.
ALL
Oh shit.
CHUCKIE
Guy's tryin' to walk the line--but he
can't even fuckin' stand up, and so my
uncle's gonna spend a night in jail.
Just then there's this fuckin' BOOM
like fifty yards down the road. Some
guy's car hit a tree.
MORGAN
Some other guy?
CHUCKIE
Yeah, he was probably drunker than my
Uncle, who fuckin' knows? So the cop
goes "Stay here" And he goes runnin'
down the highway to deal with the other
crash. So, my Uncle Marty's standin'
on the side of the road for a little
while, and he's so fuckin' lit, that
he forgets what he's waitin' for. So
he goes, "Fuck it." He gets in his
car and drives home.
MORGAN
Holy shit.
CHUCKIE
So in the morning, there's a knock on
the door it's the Statie. So my Uncle's
like, "Is there a problem?" And the Statie's
like "I pulled you over and you took
off." And my Uncle's like "I never
seen you before in my life, I been
home all night with my kids." And
Statie's like "Let me get in your
garage!" So he's like "All right, fine."
He takes around the garage and opens
the door --and the Statie's cruiser is
in my Uncle's garage.
ALL
No way! You're kiddin'!
CHUCKIE
No, he was so hammered that he drove
the police cruiser home. Fuckin' lights
and everything!
MORGAN
Did your Uncle get arrested?
CHUCKIE
The fuckin' Trooper was so embarrassed
he didn't do anything. The fuckin'
guy had been drivin' around in my Uncle's
car all night lookin' for the house.
Everyone is laughing. Skylar speaks above the din.
SKYLAR
There was this Irish guy, walking down
the beach one day.
She has everyone's attention. Will is nervous.
SKYLAR (cont'd)
And he comes across a bottle, and this
Genie pops out. The genie turns to
the Irishman and says-- "You've released
me from my prison, so I'll grant you
three wishes." The Irish guy thinks
for a minute and says "What I really
want is a pint of Guiness that never
empties." And--POOF! A bottle appears.
He slams it down, and-- lo and behold--
it fills back up again.
C/U of Will. Hoping the joke pans out.
SKYLAR (cont'd)
Well, the Irish guy can't believe it.
He drinks it again, and again-- BOOM!
It fills back up. So, while the Irish
guy is marveling at his good fortune,
The Genie is getting impatient, because
it's hot and he wants to get on with
his freedom. He says "Let's go, you
have two more wishes." The Irish guy
slams his drink again, it fills back
up, he's still amazed. The Genie can't
take it anymore. He says "Buddy, I'm
boiling out here. What are your
other two wishes?"
(beat)
The Irish guy looks at his drink, looks
at the Genie and says... "I guess
I'll have two more of these."
The gang erupts with laughter.
CHUCKIE
It's a good thing no one's Irish here.
MORGAN
I'm Irish.
Chuckie, Will look at Morgan, baffled.