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turning to page one
turning to page one
Seven people seated at the table: Jim and Andrew, Andrew’s uncle FRANK, aunt EMMA, and 18-year-old cousin DUSTIN. To Jim--
UNCLE FRANK
Jimbo -- overcooked!
(to Emma, laughing re: the meat)
I can barely chew this thing.
Jim laughs along. Andrew watches. There’s an undercurrent to the joking. The power dynamic between the brothers is clear.
UNCLE FRANK (CONT’D)
He just laughs.
Jim keeps laughing.
AUNT EMMA
And how’s your drumming going, Andy?
Andrew, put on the spot, hesitates. But then, excited--
ANDREW
Well... Actually, it’s...it’s going
really well. I’m now the core drum--
The door OPENS. In steps TRAVIS, another cousin, 21, football player, real looker. All eyes swerve in an instant from Andrew to him.
UNCLE FRANK
Well, well, well -- Tom Brady!
TRAVIS
Sorry I’m late.
Pink (9/10/2013)
AUNT EMMA
Did you hear, Jimmy?
UNCLE FRANK
They named Trav the season’s MVP.
JIM
That’s incredible, Tra--
AUNT EMMA
(interrupting)
And Dustin heading up Model UN, soon-to-
be-Rhodes-Scholar or who knows what, Jim
“Teacher of the Year”... I mean, the
talent at this table -- it’s stunning.
Beat. Then--
AUNT EMMA (CONT’D)
And Andrew. With his drumming.
UNCLE FRANK
Yeah, you said that was going ok, Andy?
ANDREW
(a little peeved,)
It’s going spectacularly well, actually.
I’m...I’m in Shaffer’s top jazz
and I was just made a core member.
(there’s no reaction)
...Which means I play in competitions.
I’m one of the youngest they have.
TRAVIS
How do they know who wins in a music
competition? Isn’t it subjective?
ANDREW
...No, not really.
UNCLE FRANK
Does the studio help get you a job?
ANDREW
It’s...it’s not a studio, that’s just the
name of the ensemble... And yes, it’s a
big step forward in my career.
UNCLE FRANK
I’m just curious how you make your money
as a drummer. After graduating.
Pink (9/10/2013)
Andrew glances at his dad. Wondering if maybe he’ll chime in in defense... But no. His dad stays meek and quiet.
AUNT EMMA
I saw a TV commercial for credit reports
where a young man was playing the drums.
You could do that.
ANDREW
Yes, or the Lincoln Center Jazz
Orchestra. But the credit reports gig is
a wonderful backup.
UNCLE FRANK
(missing Andrew’s sarcasm)
Well I’m glad you have it figured out. It’s
a nasty business, I’m sure.
(to Travis)
Oh, you gotta tell them about your game last
week. I’d say you lived up to your title.
TRAVIS
43-yard touchdown to win it.
UNCLE FRANK
That’s what I’m talking about! On your
way to the pros.
ANDREW
It’s Division III.
Everyone at the table looks at Andrew -- including his dad.
ANDREW (CONT’D)
He plays for Carleton. It’s Division III.
It’s not even Division II.
(silence, shock around the table)
The tilapia is delicious, by the way.
UNCLE FRANK
(I’ll get you back for that)
You got a lot of friends, Andy?
ANDREW
Not really.
UNCLE FRANK
And why’s that?
ANDREW
I don’t see the use.
Pink (9/10/2013)
UNCLE FRANK
Well who will you play with otherwise?
Who’ll give you your break? Lennon and
McCartney were school buddies, am I right?
ANDREW
Charlie Parker didn’t know anyone ‘til Jo
Jones threw a cymbal at his head.
UNCLE FRANK
And that’s your idea of success, then?
ANDREW
Becoming the greatest musician of the
twentieth century would be anyone’s idea
of success.
JIM
Dying broke, drunk, and full of heroin at
34 would not be my idea of success.
Andrew turns and looks at his dad. Can’t believe he joined in.
ANDREW
(to his dad)
I’d rather die broke and drunk at 34 and
have people at a dinner table somewhere
talk about it than die rich and sober at
90 and have no one remember me.
UNCLE FRANK
Ah, but friends remember you. That’s the
whole point.
ANDREW
No, none of us were Charlie Parker’s
friends. That’s the whole point.
UNCLE FRANK
Well there’s such a thing as feeling
loved and included.
ANDREW
I prefer to feel hated and cast out. It
gives me purpose.
JIM
That’s ridiculous. You don’t mean that.
UNCLE FRANK
Travis and Dustin have plenty of friends,
and I’d say they have plenty of purpose.
Pink (9/10/2013)
ANDREW
You’re right, they’ll make great School
Board presidents.
DUSTIN
Oh -- so, that’s what this is all about --
you think you’re better than us?
ANDREW
You catch on quick. You must be in Model UN.
TRAVIS
Well I’ve got a reply for you, Andrew.
You think Carleton football’s a joke?
(Andrew only nods)
Come play with us.
ANDREW
Four words you will never hear from the NFL.
AUNT EMMA
Who wants dessert?
JIM
And from Lincoln Center?
A moment of silence. Andrew looks at his dad, and his dad just looks right back... A simmering anger in his eyes, Andrew turns to the others, and, slowly--
ANDREW
In 1967 a scientist named Laszlo Polgar
decides to prove talent isn’t about what
you’re born with but about conditioning.
Has three kids, Susan, Sophia and Judit,
and gets them practicing chess for hours
and hours before they can even talk.
Fifteen years later Susan and Sophia are
the two top female players in the world,
and Judit’s on her way to entering the
history books as the greatest female
chess master of all time.
Silence once again. Andrew glances at his dad, and delivers back that same accusatory look he saw in the kitchen...
UNCLE FRANK
So not only do you want to die at 34,
broke, drunk, and addicted to heroin, but
you also wish you were a lab rat.
Pink (9/10/2013)
Andrew says nothing. Rises, plate in hand. Walks to the door--
DUSTIN
Enjoy band camp.
ANDREW
Enjoy pretending you’re an ambassador.
--and swings it shut behind him.