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turning to page one
turning to page one
SUBTITLE: HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA, THREE WEEKS EARLIER
The office is decorated with potted flowers, Audobon posters, lots of books. Kaufman, nervous and sweaty, watches Margaret, a soulful development executive, unpack boxes.
KAUFMAN
So anyway I just wanted to stop by to
congratulate you on your promotion.
MARGARET
Well, thanks again. It's all so stupid.
KAUFMAN
I think it's great. Your photo in the
trades and everything. Pretty cool.
MARGARET
Anyway. Yeah. So what's up with you?
KAUFMAN
I'm considering jobs. Mostly crap.
There's one you might like, about
flowers.
MARGARET
Flowers? Really? What is it?
KAUFMAN
They want me to do an adaptation of a
book called The Orchid Thief.
MARGARET
Oh my God! You're kidding? I read that!
I loved that book!
Kaufman is thrilled; he's scored. Margaret pulls a copy of The Orchid Thief from her bookshelf.
MARGARET (cont'd)
See, see, see! I'm not lying to you!
KAUFMAN
I loved the book.
MARGARET
Oh, Charlie, orchids are the most amazing
flowers. So complex.
Margaret plops onto the couch next to Kaufman.
KAUFMAN
I know. They're really great.
MARGARET
You should take this job. Doesn't it
sound exciting, to immerse yourself in a
real subject and learn everything about
it? Blake wrote about seeing heaven in a
wild flower. And after you learn all
this stuff, you can teach me!
KAUFMAN
(thrilled but controlled)
That'd be fun.
MARGARET
God, they're such beautiful flowers. And
so sexy. Y'know?
(whispering)
Did you know that orchid means --
KAUFMAN
Testicle. I just read that.
MARGARET
(shrieks with delight)
Testicle! Can you believe it!
Margaret giggles happily. Kaufman giggles weirdly.
MARGARET (cont'd)
I swear, it'd be fucking great for
someone to have the testicles to make
that book into a movie, man. Instead of
this bullshit all the time. Something
not about sex and violence and car chases
and love stories, people learning
profound lessons. Jesus, isn't nature
enough?