Adaptation · written by Charlie Kaufman and Donald Kaufman · 2002

Jerry tells Charlie that Donald’s script is excellent and suggests he ask his twin for help.

Scene 166 of 202 · ≈ 1 min on screen · Act two

Kaufman
Jerry

Act oneAct twoAct three

Begins 1:24 into a 1:57 film

The story so farBefore scene 166

Unable to find a conventional story in The Orchid Thief, screenwriter Charlie Kaufman turns his own crisis into an increasingly self-referential adaptation.

Scenes 1–9
Charlie inhabits an isolated, self-condemning world while Orlean’s book supplies a distant model of obsession.
Scenes 10–88
Charlie wants to write honestly and make flowers matter, while also longing to be desired and understood.
Scenes 89–105
He leaves his familiar writing room and goes to Florida to search for the story firsthand.
Scenes 106–126
The swamp is ordinary, Orlean’s research fails, and Charlie experiments with increasingly personal versions of the book.
Scenes 127–144
Charlie finds a way to focus the material by putting himself in it, then commits to meeting Orlean.
Just before
Scene 163
Orlean watches Laroche press ahead through the swamp and rubs dirt from her face.
Scene 164
Charlie sits in his hotel room convinced he has nothing and is lost as a writer.
Scene 165
Laroche tries to improvise a way out of the swamp and admits he prefers computers to people who can leave or die.
Scene 166
This scene

166INT. HOTEL ROOM - MORNING

Kaufman is sleeping. It looks like it's been a rough night. The phone rings. He reaches for it.

KAUFMAN

Hello?

JERRY (TELEPHONE VOICE)

Hey, it's Jerry. I woke you?

KAUFMAN

No, it's okay.

JERRY (TELEPHONE VOICE)

How's it going? Has it been helpful to

talk to the writer? What's her name?

KAUFMAN

Yeah. Susan Orlean.

JERRY (TELEPHONE VOICE)

Well, I mean, are you making headway?

Valerie's breathing down my neck.

KAUFMAN

You can't rush inspiration. Y'know?

JERRY (TELEPHONE VOICE)

Okay, fine. Um, the other reason I'm

calling is to tell you Me, Myself, and I

is just amazing.

KAUFMAN

What the hell is Me, Myself, and I?

JERRY (TELEPHONE VOICE)

Your brother's script. It's tight,

inventive. A smart, edgy thriller. The

best spec script I've read this year.

KAUFMAN

Oh. Good.

JERRY (TELEPHONE VOICE)

I'm gonna sell it for a shitload. Two

fucking talented guys in one family.

Y'know, maybe you could bring Donald on

to help you finish the orchid thing.

KAUFMAN

Jerry, don't say that. I mean --

JERRY (TELEPHONE VOICE)

Just a thought, buddy. He's really

goddamn amazing at structure.

KAUFMAN

Jerry, I gotta go. I have an

appointment. I gotta go.

JERRY (TELEPHONE VOICE)

Adios, buddy. Finish! Finish!