Adaptation · written by Charlie Kaufman and Donald Kaufman · 2002

Charlie sees himself in a crowd of other overweight, bald men and calls himself a failure.

Scene 167 of 202 · ≈ 1 min on screen · Act two

Kaufman

Act oneAct twoAct three

Begins 1:25 into a 1:57 film

The story so farBefore scene 167

Unable to find a conventional story in The Orchid Thief, screenwriter Charlie Kaufman turns his own crisis into an increasingly self-referential adaptation.

Scenes 1–9
Charlie inhabits an isolated, self-condemning world while Orlean’s book supplies a distant model of obsession.
Scenes 10–88
Charlie wants to write honestly and make flowers matter, while also longing to be desired and understood.
Scenes 89–105
He leaves his familiar writing room and goes to Florida to search for the story firsthand.
Scenes 106–126
The swamp is ordinary, Orlean’s research fails, and Charlie experiments with increasingly personal versions of the book.
Scenes 127–144
Charlie finds a way to focus the material by putting himself in it, then commits to meeting Orlean.
Just before
Scene 164
Charlie sits in his hotel room convinced he has nothing and is lost as a writer.
Scene 165
Laroche tries to improvise a way out of the swamp and admits he prefers computers to people who can leave or die.
Scene 166
Jerry tells Charlie that Donald’s script is excellent and suggests he ask his twin for help.
Scene 167
This scene

167EXT. NYC STREETS (MONTAGE) - MORNING

Kaufman wanders. He eyes other sad-looking, balding, overweight men wandering the streets also.

KAUFMAN (V.O.)

I am fat. I can't write. I am

repulsive. I am old. I have

accomplished nothing. I am just one more

old, fat, bald man on the street.