Adaptation · written by Charlie Kaufman and Donald Kaufman · 2002

Charlie describes the real case to a Hollywood party guest who keeps trying to turn it into a courtroom thriller.

Scene 86 of 202 · ≈ 1 min on screen · Act one

Kaufman
Woman

Act oneAct twoAct three

Begins 46 min into a 1:57 film

The story so farBefore scene 86

Unable to find a conventional story in The Orchid Thief, screenwriter Charlie Kaufman turns his own crisis into an increasingly self-referential adaptation.

Scenes 1–9
Charlie inhabits an isolated, self-condemning world while Orlean’s book supplies a distant model of obsession.
Scene 10
Valerie and Margaret give Charlie the assignment to adapt The Orchid Thief.
Scene 31
Donald’s rivalry and affection give Charlie a living counterpoint to his isolated view of himself.
Scene 75
Laroche says adaptation is learning how to survive in the world.
Just before
Scene 83
Laroche sits beside his comatose wife in the hospital.
Scene 84
Laroche tells Orlean his wife left after recovering and the hurricane destroyed his nursery, leading him to the Seminoles.
Scene 85
Laroche buys cigarettes and explains that his ghost-orchid plan was meant to give the Seminoles something extraordinary.
Scene 86
This scene

86INT. PARTY HOUSE - NIGHT

Kaufman, beer in hand, stands off in the corner of a room crowded with young Hollywood types. He talks nervously to a pretty young woman

KAUFMAN

... see, Laroche researched it and found

that Indians have the legal right to take

endangered plants off state lands.

WOMAN

What an amazing opening! So then it's a

courtroom drama. A Few Good Men! And

all those Indian rights issues are so

complex. There are valid arguments on

both sides. I mean we took their land!

We gave them smallpox!

KAUFMAN

Well, actually, there wasn't much of a

trial. Florida got 'em on a

technicality, about cutting down non-

endangered trees. Even the Indians

aren't allowed to do that. They all

plead no contest. Laroche got fined five

hundred bucks and banned from the

Fakahatchee for six months.

WOMAN

Oh, wow. So, like, then what happens?

KAUFMAN

Nothing much. That's what I like. I

mean, most people's lives don't include a

lot of drama and I wanted to sort of be

compelling without having to resort to

big, um... Y'know what I mean?

WOMAN

(glancing distractedly around)

Absolutely. I absolutely do.

KAUFMAN

It's, like, Blake talked about seeing the

world in a grain of sand and heaven in a

wild flower. Y'know? Or like Hegel?

The woman smiles, but she's somewhere else entirely.