Adaptation · written by Charlie Kaufman and Donald Kaufman · 2002

Charlie claims to Valerie that his screenplay is progressing even as he calls himself a failure.

Scene 87 of 202 · ≈ 1 min on screen · Act one

Kaufman
Valerie

Act oneAct twoAct three

Begins 47 min into a 1:57 film

The story so farBefore scene 87

Unable to find a conventional story in The Orchid Thief, screenwriter Charlie Kaufman turns his own crisis into an increasingly self-referential adaptation.

Scenes 1–9
Charlie inhabits an isolated, self-condemning world while Orlean’s book supplies a distant model of obsession.
Scene 10
Valerie and Margaret give Charlie the assignment to adapt The Orchid Thief.
Scene 31
Donald’s rivalry and affection give Charlie a living counterpoint to his isolated view of himself.
Scene 75
Laroche says adaptation is learning how to survive in the world.
Just before
Scene 84
Laroche tells Orlean his wife left after recovering and the hurricane destroyed his nursery, leading him to the Seminoles.
Scene 85
Laroche buys cigarettes and explains that his ghost-orchid plan was meant to give the Seminoles something extraordinary.
Scene 86
Charlie describes the real case to a Hollywood party guest who keeps trying to turn it into a courtroom thriller.
Scene 87
This scene

87INT. EMPTY BEDROOM - BEDROOM

Kaufman stares at his typewriter. There's a big pile of papers next to him.

KAUFMAN (V.O.)

I am a failure. I'm a poseur. I have no

ideas. I wanted to do something great.

There's no story. I'm fat. I'm repuls--

The phone rings.

KAUFMAN (CONT'D)

What?

VALERIE (PHONE VOICE)

Charlie? It's Valerie.

KAUFMAN

Oh, hi. Hi. Hey! Hi!

VALERIE (PHONE VOICE)

Sorry to bug you. We were just talking

about you, how excited we are.

KAUFMAN

Yeah, me too.

VALERIE (PHONE VOICE)

So it's coming along good?

KAUFMAN

It's good. It's complicated what I'm

trying to do, but it's going very well.