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turning to page one
The fog-strewn ruins, upon which sit PADRAIC and DOMINIC with the poteen bottle, both depressed, as the morning sun hangs low on the horizon. DOMINIC takes a drink and passes PADRAIC * the bottle... *
DOMINIC
Me Daddy says he’s going to kill you
Sunday, for spilling the beans about
that fiddling with me.
PADRAIC winces...
PADRAIC *
Why Sunday? *
DOMINIC *
It’s his day off. *
PADRAIC
(pause)
‘Kill me’ kill me, or “Beat me up a
bit” kill me?
DOMINIC
“Beat you up a bit” kill ya, I think.
Although he did kill a man once. A
little Japanese man.
PADRAIC doesn’t really know what to say to that. Pause.
PADRAIC
I’m sorry for that spilling the beans
on ya, Dominic. I was out of order that
night.
DOMINIC
You was funny apart from that bit!
That’s why I don’t understand why the
fat fella threw the finger at ya. He
seemed fine when you were slagging him.
PADRAIC
He did not. Did he?
DOMINIC
“That’s the most interesting Padraic’s
ever been”, he said. “I think I like
him again now”.
PADRAIC ponders this.
PADRAIC
Aye, I think the finger thing was more
because I apologised the next day.
DOMINIC
Then maybe this whole thing has just *
been about getting you to stand up for *
yourself a bit.
PADRAIC
Do you think?
DOMINIC
Yeah, and be less of a, y’know... a whiny *
little dull-arse?
PADRAIC takes a drink, hurt by the description.
PADRAIC
Well I have been less of a whiny little
dull-arse, actually...
DOMINIC
Have ya, yeah?
PADRAIC
Just yesterday, hah! There’s this *
musician fella Colm was getting along
great with, and what did I do? I went *
and sent him packing from the island!
DOMINIC
(Did ya?) How?! *
PADRAIC
I told him a bread van had crashed into
his Daddy, and he’d have to be rushing
home to him, lest he die!
DOMINIC slowly loses his smile and just looks at PADRAIC, taking all this in.
DOMINIC
Oh. That sounds like the meanest thing
I ever heard.
PADRAIC
Hah? Well... aye, it was a bit mean, *
but he’ll be fine once he gets home and
finds his daddy hasn’t been hit be a
bread van. And how can that be the *
meanest thing you ever heard?! Your
Daddy killed a little Japanese man!
DOMINIC
I used to think you were the nicest of
them. Turns out you’re just the same as *
them.
PADRAIC
I am the nicest of them.
DOMINIC
I thought you were a happy lad.
PADRAIC
I am a happy lad.
DOMINIC shakes his head sadly as he heads away...
PADRAIC (CONT'D)
Ar Dominic, now!
(calling out)
Well maybe I’m not a happy lad, so!
Maybe being a happy lad just doesn’t
cut the custard any more!
DOMINIC
(to himself quietly)
Mustard. *
(or just a wince) *
PADRAIC *
Maybe this is the new me!
DOMINIC glances back sadly, then continues on. PADRAIC notices DOMINIC has left his bottle behind, so he drinks a big gulp...
PADRAIC (CONT'D)
Aye. Maybe this is the new me.
...then walks away with it in the opposite direction, * drinking. *