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turning to page one
David sleeps in his clothes on the bed. The dog sleeps on the floor. There is a knock at the door. David wakes up, fixes his hair a little and answers the door. The HOTEL MANAGER and her HUSBAND enter. The Waiter and the Maid who were handing out shoes to the new guests follow them in. The Hotel Manager is a woman of around 55. She is dressed formally and her hair is carefully styled. Almost like a sculpture.
HOTEL MANAGER
Welcome. I am the Hotel Manager and
this gentleman is my partner.
You’re one of the lucky ones
because your room is one of our
superior rooms. That means it has a
view.
The Hotel Manager sits on the only chair and her partner stands beside her. They resemble the paintings on the lobby wall, only in reverse.
HOTEL MANAGER (CONT’D)
Did you read the leaflet?
DAVID
I did, yes.
HOTEL MANAGER
Very good. The fact that you'll
turn into an animal if you don't
manage to fall in love with another
person during your stay here is not
something that should upset you, or
get you down. Just think, as an
animal you'll have a second chance
to find a companion. But even then
you must be very careful. You'll
need to find a companion who is the
same type of animal as you are. A
wolf and a penguin could never live
together, nor could a camel with a
hippopotamus. That would be absurd.
Think about it. But there are
certain combinations in particular
that are worst of all - for example
a bear with a fish, or a lion with
an antelope, or a fox with a
discussion is a little unpleasant
for you but I have a duty to
prepare you psychologically for
every possible outcome. Have you
decided what animal you would like
to be if you end up alone?
DAVID
A lobster.
HOTEL MANAGER
Why a lobster?
David seems to have thought this through rather well.
DAVID
Because a lobster lives to be over
100 years old, has blue blood just
like an aristocrat and stays
fertile all its life. And I like
the sea very much. I water-ski and
swim quite well, ever since I was a
teenager.
HOTEL MANAGER
I must congratulate you. Usually
the first thing people think of is
a dog and that’s why the world is
full of dogs. Very few choose to
become unusual animals, which is
why they are endangered.
Rarely does someone choose to be a
tuna fish, due to the dangers it
faces, or a polar bear, due to its
adverse living conditions. A
lobster is an excellent choice. One
more thing, before we leave.
The Hotel Manager signals to the Waiter and the Maid. They take David’s arm, twist it behind his back and bring out a special leather accessory consisting of a belt and a bracelet linked together. They fasten the belt around his waist and the bracelet around his wrist, so that his hand is held tight behind his back and he cannot move his arm. The belt buckle in front is then locked with a small key, so that he cannot take it off.
HOTEL MANAGER (CONT’D)
This is so you see how easy life is
when there are two of something
instead of just one. We forget this
from time to time. The handcuff
will be removed at the same time
tomorrow. But that’s enough for
today. I imagine it was a trying
day. Good evening and enjoy your
stay.
They leave and close the door behind them. David looks down at the belt and bracelet.