The Royal Tenenbaums · written by Wes Anderson & Owen Wilson · 2001

Royal taunts Henry until Etheline interrupts; he denies that anything happened and makes himself a peanut-butter sandwich.

Scene 86 of 143 · ≈ 2 min on screen · Act two

Royal
Henry
Etheline

Find another scene in The Royal Tenenbaums

Act oneAct twoAct three

Begins 1:13 into a 1:59 film

The story so farBefore scene 86

After losing his hotel room, Royal claims he has only weeks to live so he can move back in with his estranged family; as the truth unravels, he must find a way to be useful and earn a place in their lives.

Scenes 1–39
Royal is absent from the children’s adult lives, and their family remains shaped by his betrayals and abandonment.
Scenes 40–47
Royal wants a path back to Etheline and the children, and claims impending death will give him one.
Scenes 48–50
He returns to the house and openly asks his children for a chance to make things right.
Scene 63
Eli tells Richie that Margot is troubled by his love and reminds him that she is his sister, making the relationship an active family conflict.
Just before
Scene 83
Royal thanks Etheline for raising their children and admits his failures; Henry overhears him ask about her love life.
Scene 84
After Henry says he does not believe Royal is dying, Etheline declines their planned theatre outing and goes back inside.
Scene 85
Pagoda tells Royal that Etheline will not join Henry that night; Royal says they have him on the ropes.
Scene 86
This scene

86INT. KITCHEN. DAY.

The next morning. Henry stands at the counter reading the Wall Street Journal. He has on reading glasses. Royal comes into the kitchen eating a cheeseburger. Henry looks at him blankly. Royal sits on a stool.

ROYAL

Can I ask you something?

HENRY

(pause)

OK.

ROYAL

Are you trying to steal my woman?

HENRY

(pause)

I beg your pardon?

ROYAL

You heard me, Coltrane.

HENRY

(long pause)

Coltrane?

ROYAL

What?

HENRY

Did you just call me Coltrane?

ROYAL

No.

HENRY

You didn’t?

ROYAL

No.

HENRY

(pause)

OK.

ROYAL

But if I did?

Silence. Henry waits for Royal to continue.

ROYAL (CONT’D)

You wouldn’t be able to do anything

about it, would you?

HENRY

You don’t think so?

ROYAL

No, I don’t.

HENRY

(seething)

Listen, Royal. If you think --

ROYAL

You want to talk some jive?

Henry hesitates. He looks puzzled.

ROYAL (CONT’D)

I’ll talk some jive with you.

Royal stands up. He screams:

ROYAL (CONT’D)

I’ll talk some jive like you never

heard!

HENRY

(yelling)

Oh, yeah?

ROYAL

Right on!