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turning to page one
Randall, his leg moving nervously, Dr. Oglethorpe and Kate sit in the Oval Office across from PRESIDENT JANIE ORLEAN, 60s.
President Orlean has bright blonde statement hair, remnants of a Long Island accent and behind her dozens of copies of her best selling “HOW TO MANAGE YOUR MONEY EVEN WHEN YOU HAVE NONE.”
Her Chief of Staff who we met yesterday, son Jason is there along with TWO OTHER AIDES in their 70s.
The President checks her phone and texts for a long beat while everyone waits. Finally she puts it down and addresses the room.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
Okay, I heard there’s something
about an asteroid or a comet you
don’t like the looks of. Tell me
about it and then tell me why
you’re telling me about it. You’ve
got twenty minutes.
RANDALL
Twenty minutes?
Teddy Oglethorpe looks at Randall.
DR. OGLETHORPE
That’s you Doc. Go.
Randall is very nervous.
RANDALL
Okay... okay, um, Madame President.
Approximately, 36 hours ago PhD
graduate student, Kate Dibiasky
here... discovered a very large
comet.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
(to Kate)
Oh! Good for you.
RANDALL
A comet 5-10 kilometers across,
that we estimate came from the Oort
cloud, the outer part of the solar
system.
He pauses. Looks at his notes. Randall’s hand shakes a little as he looks at his notes.
RANDALL (CONT'D)
And uh, using Gauss’ method of
orbital determination and the
0.04 arcseconds...
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
Whoah, whoah. What the hell?
JASON
I am so bored. Just tell us what it
is.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
Knock that shit off.
JASON
Seriously, stop.
KATE
(cuts to the quick)
What Dr. Mindy is trying to say is
that there is a comet headed
directly towards earth.
He lays out the photos highlighting the blurry “streak.” The President and Jason examine the pictures.
KATE (CONT'D)
According to NASA’s computers this
object will hit the Pacific Ocean a
sixty two miles due west off the
coast of Chile.
JASON
And then what happens? A tidal
wave?
RANDALL
No, it will be far more
catastrophic. There will be mile-
high tsunamis, fanning out all
across the globe. If this comet
makes impact, it will have the
power of a billion Hiroshima bombs.
There will be magnitude 10 or 11
earthquakes-
JASON
You’re stressing me out! You’re
breathing weird. It’s just making
me uncomfortable.
RANDALL
I’m sorry. I’m just trying to
articulate the science.
JASON
I know but it’s like sooo
stressful. I’m like tryin’ to
listen-
RANDALL
I don’t think you understand the
gravity of this situation. I’m
trying to articulate it the best I
can.
DR. OGLETHORPE
Madame President, this comet is
what we call a planet killer.
RANDALL
That is correct.
President Orlean takes this all in.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
So how certain is this?
RANDALL
There is basically 100% certainty
of impact.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
Please don’t say 100%.
AIDE #2
Can we just call it a potentially
significant event.
KATE
But it’s not “potentially” going to
happen. It is going to happen.
RANDALL
Exactly, 99.78 percent to be exact.
JASON
Oh, great! So it’s not 100%.
DR. OGLETHORPE
Scientists never like to say 100%.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
Call it 70% and let’s move on.
KATE
It’s not even close to seventy
percent.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
You can’t go around to people
telling them there’s a 100% chance
that they are going to die.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN (CONT'D)
And we should get our own
scientists on this. No offense, but
you’re just two people who walked
in here with...
DR. OGLETHORPE
Dr. Oglethorpe.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
Dr. Ogilvy.
DR. OGLETHORPE
I’ve been head of Planetary Defense
at NASA for fifteen year.
And Dr. Mindy is a tenured
Professor of astronomy at Michigan
State where Ms. Dibiasky is a
doctoral candidate.
JASON
I’m sorry, did you say Michigan
State?
DR. OGLETHORPE
They have an excellent astronomy
department.
JASON
Come on bro...
KATE
Are you serious? Do you want to see
my goddam SAT scores?
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
Okay, let’s bottom line this. What
is this gonna cost me? What’s the
ask here?
DR. OGLETHORPE
There are government plans in
place. Actions we can take through
NASA. Drones that can be outfitted
with nukes to deflect and hopefully
change the orbit of this comet. But
we must act now.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
Alright, alright, let me think
here... When are the midterms?...
JASON
Three weeks.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
Three weeks. If this breaks before
then we could lose Congress and
then there’s nothing we can do
about this anyway.
JASON
It’ll be gridlock.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
Exactly, the timing...it’s
atrocious.
(breath)
At this exact moment... I say we
sit tight and assess.
RANDALL
Sit tight and assess?
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
And let’s get some Ivy Leaguers, no
offense. And we will review the
NASA plans.
DR. OGLETHORPE
I’d greatly appreciate it.
KATE
Am I to understand correctly that
with all the information you’ve
received today, you’re making the
decision to “sit tight and assess?”
The President is barely paying attention as she searches drawer after drawer in her office.
JASON
Seriously. Who is she?
KATE
Who are you? Aren’t you her son?
JASON
I’m the Chief of Staff, Boy with a
Dragon Tattoo, so I’m doin’ fine!
KATE
(whispers to Randall)
This place is a freak show.
RANDALL
I think what Ms. Dibiasky is trying
to say is that the idea of sitting
tight is an extremely dangerous
idea.
President Orlean discovers a pack of smokes in her desk.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
Oh! Oh!
(looks up to the heavens)
Thank you!
(back to the room)
Well at least one good thing
happened today!
She pulls out a cigarette and lights it.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN (CONT'D)
Funny story, when I ran for
President I had to sneak cigarettes
for the first month of the
campaign. Photographs of me smoking
were going for a hundred grand a
shot. So I’m always hiding. But you
know what? I got sick of it and I
just said, I’m gonna smoke whenever
I want to! And guess what happened?
I went up three points in the
polls.
JASON
People loved that she kept it real.
They loved watching a smoke-show,
smoke! I can’t think of another
President that I’d want to see in
Playboy.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
Do you know how many “the world is
ending meetings” that we’ve had
over the years? Economic collapse,
loose nukes, car exhaust killing
the atmosphere, rogue A.I.
JASON
Drought, famine, plagues,
population growth, the hole in the
ozone, the rapture, alien
invasion...
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
Jason, hey! That’s enough. Read the
room for once in your life.
JASON
Sorry, Mom.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
(exhales a giant plume of smoke)
The point is... I have a job to do.
RANDALL
You do understand that this is an
apocalyptic event? This is a large
celestial body headed towards our
earth.
President Orlean makes her way over to Randall.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
Dr. Mindy, I hear you! I hear you.
You should be proud.
RANDALL
Thank you.
PRESIDENT ORLEAN
I’m taking it very seriously. I’m
taking it straight in the heart.
RANDALL
I am so glad to hear that. I am so
glad.
They all stand to leave.
JASON
Hey gang, obviously everything we
talked about in here is classified.
Jason motions to fist bump Kate.
JASON (CONT'D)
(to Kate)
Thanks for dressing up!
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